Da BeezNeez

I've always and I'm still wondering what am I doing here. It seems like camp was so far away. Have we forgotten what we've learned? Have we gone back to our normal selves? Camp wasn't an emotional high for me, but it was peaceful. There were no distractions. It was calm.

It sucks because it's different this year. There's been a lot of challenges and difficulties that I've been facing and still facing. I kind of just want to run away from it all. To not worry about anything and just run. My heart continues to burn for the youth, but my ambition and my drive is gone. I don't know what to do. It seems like there needs to be change in my life. There needs to be something else. I wish God would just speak to me and tell me what to do. I suppose I could be a lot more attentive. Maybe He's already trying to tell me something, but I just can't hear because I'm too worried about living life.

How can I go out and save people when I can't even train a new believer. I feel like I've failed God. That's what it seems like. It seems like I've failed. I've been selfish.

On a lighter note, I've decided to lead worship for winter conference. I think God has opened this door for me and so I'm going to go through it. It's cool because I've always dreamed about leading worship at large events. I dunno why, maybe it's just the rock start inside of me! :) hahaha.

Since I am leading a set of worship, that means that I need a team as well. That also means that my team will have to go to winter conference. Is anyone interested?? I think it's about $100 for the conference by itself (4 days, no meals). It's also in Calgary this year (Telus Convention Centre). The dates are...I forget...but I think it's around Dec 27ish? It would be a great opportunity to grow in worship with God. Also you get to meet a lot of people. I need instrumentalist and singers!

----> I definitely don't want to be a one man band.

There's my sort of sad/happy post!! NOW GIVE ME MY BLOG POINTS! hahahaha