Da BeezNeez

Hello,

Well, it looks like all that hard work in studying is going down the drain because it looks like I just failed my first midterm. It's not a good way to start out. Man, I just completely panicked and my mind went blank. I couldn't even do the easiest question in the whole entire test. Now that it's over, I totally know how to do it, and I can do it in like 15 mins....

My only hope now for this course is to do well on the final. If I do crappy on the final. It looks like I'm going to get an F. I know it seems like I'm blowing it way out of proportion, but I'm not. I wish I was, but no.....

I'm just not used to writing tests anymore. I get completely nervous and completely break down. It seems like I'm studying way more than I did for my other years, but I'm doing worse.....how can that be???

I couldn't even sleep last night because I was dwelling on my stupid midterm. Yup, I pulled an all nighter just thinking. I'm starting to wonder if this is really for me. I mean I don't really like it. I have no passion for it, and it's totally not fulfilling. Man...I just wish I could get through this year. That's all I want. I'm not even going to focus on getting a job anymore......


I need something good to happen to me....

I keep dwelling on the "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God" verse, but the more I dwell on it, the more I realize that I'm not really seeking Him. Finding a job and finishing school doesn't really fit into that category. I wonder what is God's Kingdom that I should be seeking? I know the more general things, but I'm talking about the specifics. Each person is unique in with their gifts from God and so they should be unique in what they seek from God. What am I seeking??