Da BeezNeez

I've always and I'm still wondering what am I doing here. It seems like camp was so far away. Have we forgotten what we've learned? Have we gone back to our normal selves? Camp wasn't an emotional high for me, but it was peaceful. There were no distractions. It was calm.

It sucks because it's different this year. There's been a lot of challenges and difficulties that I've been facing and still facing. I kind of just want to run away from it all. To not worry about anything and just run. My heart continues to burn for the youth, but my ambition and my drive is gone. I don't know what to do. It seems like there needs to be change in my life. There needs to be something else. I wish God would just speak to me and tell me what to do. I suppose I could be a lot more attentive. Maybe He's already trying to tell me something, but I just can't hear because I'm too worried about living life.

How can I go out and save people when I can't even train a new believer. I feel like I've failed God. That's what it seems like. It seems like I've failed. I've been selfish.

On a lighter note, I've decided to lead worship for winter conference. I think God has opened this door for me and so I'm going to go through it. It's cool because I've always dreamed about leading worship at large events. I dunno why, maybe it's just the rock start inside of me! :) hahaha.

Since I am leading a set of worship, that means that I need a team as well. That also means that my team will have to go to winter conference. Is anyone interested?? I think it's about $100 for the conference by itself (4 days, no meals). It's also in Calgary this year (Telus Convention Centre). The dates are...I forget...but I think it's around Dec 27ish? It would be a great opportunity to grow in worship with God. Also you get to meet a lot of people. I need instrumentalist and singers!

----> I definitely don't want to be a one man band.

There's my sort of sad/happy post!! NOW GIVE ME MY BLOG POINTS! hahahaha

Hey everybody,

This is a great week. I can't complain about this week. Only 2 more days left. Kinda happy...kinda sad. On one hand, I'm finishing work. On the other hand, there is no more cash flow. Ohh well...

I'm going to start school soon, so I'm pretty stoked about that. Not that I like school or anything, but at least I get to hang out with my friends. This year will be totally a gong show.

I really don't have anything to blog.

Does anybody know how to put their playlist from radio.blog on their blog as a player???

Well, since everyone is blogging about camp, I might as well do it too.

hmm....what to say....what to say....

Camp was awesome. It was a time for me to rest, to reflect, and to dream. There's so much that I felt, I don't even know where to begin.

The best thing that I wouldn't trade a million dollars for -> seeing the youth worship and seeing their hearts, hurts, and joy turn slowly to God.

In the prayer room, I felt compassion and the hurt and pain of the young ones in our group. My heart just broke and I feel completely to the ground broken, and then I became more broken when I saw James' name on the wall. My heart screamed inside. I wanted to cry out. I wanted God to come and just take the pain away, but at the same time, I didn't want it to go away. I wanted to have this feeling forever because then I would know what it felt like...what it felt like to have God's heart breaking for our youth.

Dreams....ideas....thoughts they all come just rusing to my head. Questions about my future....questions about relationships. Thoughts on re:focusing.

I will tell you this. I got the feeling that this year will be different from all the other school years. The schools are ripe for the harvest, but it won't be us (the leaders) that lead the students to Christ. It will be the youth....with their love, actions, and prayers. Keep on praying for saved lives!!

Give me a passion once again for the youth. God I stand in the GAP! GOD SAVE THE STUDENTS IN CALGARY! In Jesus name I pray!

Well...today is Friday....and what a beautiful Friday it is.....NOT! Actually I'm glad that it's raining. Get it out of the system now so that we can have good weather GOd! hahaha :)

So I've been asked to join the worship team for winter conference, but I don't know if I want to do it. I'm still praying about it. It would be cool. I've always wanted to do something like it....but is it God's plan for me? Pray for me, we will see where he leads!

I've always wanted to do a worship ministry thingy. I think that would be cool to lead worship at other churches. It would definitely need to be in God's will though, and I would probably need a set team. Maybe Sam's magic ministry will turn into a magical musical ministry....hahaha.

So Jackson asked me yesterday, "Do you ever feel bad that our practices are so short?". For those of you who don't know, our worship practices are never more than 45 mins long, and we never have more than 2 practices! hahaha. Well, my answer to that was, "Nope! I don't feel bad at all!" hahaha. Just like piano, I don't like to practice, but worship is a little different because it's actually cool to worship God. To me, I think if you practice a lot, it takes away from the spontaneous nature of worship. I like spontaneous worship, but I guess that's just how I was brought up. Some people need to practice it a million times.

Looking back at our worship, I actually think we've grown a lot. We still need to improve, but I think if we seek to do that individually, it would be easier when we come together as a team. I'm excited to have the new worship team members on our team. I keep on forgetting, but I want to ask Louise to play for me. Someone remind me next time!

I think it just might be time for me to take less of a dominant role in the forefront of worship. Does that mean I'm quitting the worship team?? Yep, You Betcha!! NOT! Actuary.....I'm probably not going to play as much, but help integrate the newbies into the worship teams.

It's tough when you only have 4 (soon to be 3) worship leaders, but we need to involve everybody. Who's on the worship team?? (Comment if I missed anybody)

Newbies I want to put on more:
Sam
Tara
Louise
Geoffrey

People I want to put on more:
Tony
Jenny
Jackson
Jacklyn

YAC Newbies:
Calvin
Jeff
Hannah
Florence
Eunice
Eva
Priscilla
Daniel
Grace

The YAC newbies are doing AWESOME!! Keep it up guys!!

It would be cool to train the YAC people to do Sunday's as well. David wants to learn the guitar too, so I'm going to try to teach him when school starts. Also, did you know that Katsushi plays the bass?? Apparently, he owned lots of bass guitars in Japan.

Pray for the worship in our church. Pray that it will continue to get stronger, and that we will be able to integrate the new members successfully!

Wow...that was a long post....ok...time to go back to work!!

So today is officially my last day of classes....after this there are no more summer classes. I'm sitting in the classroom right now waiting for class to start. I have my final presentation today. I'm kinda nervous, but I really shouldn't be because we aren't really talking.

You see, to be original, my group decided on doing a video for our presentation. We decided to do the crocodile hunter...hahaha.....

It's funny because I have a east indian crocodile hunter and a chinese assistant, and both of us have australian accents. Ohh yeah....I almost forgot to mention our Filipino camera man acting like a chinese man. hahaha.

My accent sucks, but ohh well.

Maybe i'll post it on google video. it should be funny!!

ONLY 40 mins till class......and then it's over!!

Camp is coming up....geting excited!!

let's refocus peeps!! woot woot!!

Shout out to Sylvia.....Happy Birthday...in a couple of days...hahaha..

Wow....new posts all around....now I actually can spend some time reading it!

Well, there's only 2.5 weeks left in my internship. I have decided to have a 2 week going away party...haha. I think that will be a blast.

Whoever wants to go have lunch in these last couple of weeks, give me a call before I leave downtown for a long time.

So we finally have the camp sets and all that stuff, but we're having difficulty practicing. Maybe I just won't hold practices until camp? Or I'll work with individual people for my sets.

I hate summer school. I think going to school at this time is absolutely the worse time to go. Doing spring is alright, but summer sucks because you don't get to do anything. I wanted to go to a lot of things this summer, but I can't. Writing essays is from the devil too!

I'm thinking about taking golf lessons.....anyone want to join me?

Summer camp in 1.5 weeks. I'm excited, but nervous at the same time. The new medication for my asthma is making me lose my voice, and when I have an asthma attack, I can't sing....let's hope I don't get one at camp. I wish my asthma would go away...that would be great. It's especially bad this year too...I don't know why, but it really really sucks.

Alright, it's time for me to go surfing now. Surf the world wide web that is! hahahaha!